As most of us are aware, when it comes to criticism, we are our own worst enemy. When you have anxiety – self-doubt; overthinking situations, relationships and actions; and focusing on what ‘could’ have been different, are always at the forefront of your thoughts. As well as this, if your anxiety is anything like mine, you are constantly criticising yourself. This can include criticising the way you look (which is my biggest anxiety trigger), criticising your own actions, or feeling as though you have let yourself or people around you down. And of course, we all have these thoughts from time to time, but having them constantly running through our minds is detrimental to our mental health and our self-esteem.
I was given a really good piece of advice which may help any of you who suffer from issues surrounding yourself self-esteem, confidence or body confidence. So here goes… Think of all the awful things you tell yourself constantly for example: ‘I’m not good enough’, ‘Why the hell would anyone like ME?!’, ‘I’ve let everybody down’, ‘I’m not worthy of love or being loved’. Write these down so that you have them in front of you.
Now, read your list back and think about this scenario. Imagine you meet a lovely, confident, attractive and fun-loving girl. Imagine you are walking behind her, telling her everything you tell yourself on a daily basis – ‘Oh look at you, you’re not worthy of love!’ ‘Why would anyone want to be with you?’ ‘Who do you think you are? You’re not good enough for anyone!’… Now imagine how SHITTY she would feel if you were telling her these things, and how bad you’d feel for saying them to her.
Well, that’s exactly what you’re doing to yourself constantly. These negative thoughts are interrupting your life, putting you down and stopping you from believing that who you are is enough. By writing a few examples down you are able to see the damage you are doing to yourself without even realising it, because it has become such a regular habit in your life. The great news is, habits can be broken. By thinking of this scenario every time you find your mind wondering into negative, self-loathing territory, you can switch your thoughts to positive ones. Start by saying… “Actually, you know what? I don’t deserve to be spoken to this way. I am a kind, loving and honest individual who has every right to feel as good about her/himself.”
The fact is, you don’t deserve it as I’m pretty sure you’re lovely inside & out. Try thinking of this story every time you’re hard on yourself 💫💜