A skill I mastered back when I was a teenager. Saying no may sound like the easiest thing in the world, but for many of us, saying no is almost impossible. Luckily enough for me, I’m pretty independent – I have been from a very young age. As my mum always likes to remind me, I never wanted to sleep in my parent’s bed as a little kid (unlike my very needy brothers) – I loved my space and kept myself to myself. I was walking by 10 months and having full blown conversations by the age of 2. I loved being creative and reading, on my own! And truly, as an adult I adore spending time on my own. Sure, I LOVE to spend time with my friends and family – but I know when and how to put myself and my happiness first and I know how to spend time alone.
This is something I learned from a young age, and luckily, FOMO is not something I suffer from a hell of a lot. Sure, there have been times when my anxiety has prevented me from experiencing certain things, but, the first thing I want to talk about is boundaries. Learning how not to push yourself too hard or too far into things that you genuinely don’t want to do. The easiest way for me to do this was listing all of the things I truly enjoyed doing, and a list of the things I didn’t enjoy so much. For example, I love seeing my friends and catching up, BUT I don’t always like drinking alcohol in busy bars and clubs. So, how to handle this situation? Compromise. I meet my friends once a week for a coffee and a catch up after work. This way, I’m still being social and building my relationships, without sacrificing anything.
The beauty of saying no to things, leaving the party early, or just turning events/plans down because you simply don’t want to go without having to give some lame excuse – it’s a hard one to master. The thought of ‘letting others down’ is a HUGE no no for some people, and it’s totally understandable. For example: how many times have you been invited somewhere, and still went EVEN THOUGH you reaaaally didn’t want to go? My guess is, a lot. We’ve all been there. And to be fair to we, there are some things in life it’s very very hard to say no to. Family events, birthdays, that kind of thing. It can be difficult to establish. My advice in this situation, learn when you’ve had enough. Trust your gut when you feel like you want to go home and don’t feel as though you have to justify yourself to those around you. If the people around you love and respect you, they will just let it go. If they don’t, well then, it’s a test of your relationship. Learning when to say no by trusting your instincts, rather than weighing-up how much your decision will affect other people, will make it 10x easier for yourself when it comes to decision making.
If you fancy learning a little bit more about ‘saying no’, I’d be happy to offer you some more advice!
Just comment and let me know
Lots of love xoxox