Why are our standards, morals, aspirations and dreams destroying us? The generation of self-hate.


Hey folks, it’s been a minute since I posted anything but after seeing the devastatingly sad reports of another 20-something reality TV star taking their own life, I had an urge to write something.

As you may well know, I have struggled with accepting my physical appearance my entire life, and my mental health has suffered as a direct result of this. My body has changed more times than I can count due to a number of things. From disordered eating, binging, starving myself, calorie counting, diet shakes, and excessive eating – it has taken me almost 24 years to begin to uncover where these issues stemmed from, and most importantly I’m now starting to appreciate, love and feed my body in a healthy and kind way. But what about other people? Women and men, teenagers and children who are just as susceptible to experiencing similar issues to what I have? How are their lives being molded? Why are suicide and mental health issues so common in the youth of today? My theory includes two things – physical standards and life goals.

Our standards, morals, aspirations, dreams and goals are destroying us. Our happiness is no longer rooted in our relationships and passion for the things we truly love. Instead, it is being led by our desire to look perfect, be financially successful and appear (online) to be living the ‘best life’ we possibly can. So where do the issues come from? Well, none of these ‘ideals’ technically involve being happy. In fact, our desire to attain a perfect physical appearance and virtual one can be the complete opposite. It can be agonising. With gruelling workout routines, calorie counting, the constant need to update our online feeds, it can get fucking exhausting.

So, let’s start with the physical side of social standard. Our minds are being fed such warped ideas of what is ‘normal’, created by an army of reality TV stars who are setting the standards for young people. But what’s now coming to light is that companies are literally FEEDING these reality stars with free procedures, creating an unattainable and expensive ideal for young women and men all around the world. And, of course, affecting these young stars too – having to live up to these totally crazy standards. Boob jobs, butt jobs, veneers, lip fillers, cheek implants, nose jobs, botox, skinny teas, hair transplants, eye lifts, nose filler, chin filler, jaw filler – it’s no WONDER we feel shit about ourselves when the people we look up to no longer even look like themselves.

The saddest part is that these physical standards don’t just affect the young reality stars of today, they’re spreading across the world, affecting US. These procedures and surgeries are becoming such a normal and accepted part of our reality, that we, our natural selves, created through love and designed oh so incredibly by our DNA, no longer feel good enough.

Of course, physical appearance isn’t the only thing that’s shaping a generation of self-hate and self-doubt. Fame is yet another goal that so many young individuals are striving for. These days, fame is so accessible, due to the likes of social media and the creation of new careers including vloggers, Instagram models and influencers. The fact is you can earn millions of pounds if you look and act the part, so why the hell wouldn’t that seem appealing to young people? I totallllly understand the appeal, but is this truly what makes us happy? Are these the things that set our soul on fire – for more than just a fleeting moment?

When the popularity fades and we inevitably age and our bodies start to change – who will there be left to please? The answer: the person in the mirror. You need to be happy with the person staring back at you and not just in a physical sense.

I could write for hours about this subject, but my final comments are that the standards young people set themselves are so atrociously high, and almost inhumane, that living up to anything but that is a considered a failure. Technically, we’re all failing. And this failure is undoubtedly affecting our mental health.

Let’s change it – starting with YOU.


Self care made SIMPLE! How to incorporate self care into your everyday life.

Self Care Made Simple

Self care doesn’t need to be extravagant in order to be effective. I know that if you’re having a really bad day, even the smallest of tasks can seem impossible. Here are some small, simple things that you can do on the days you don’t feel like doing much at all. These tasks require little effort but will hopefully help your day pass a little easier, make you feel slightly more positive and make your environment a little nicer to be in.

  1. Make your bed – when you wake up, make your bed. Being in a messy environment can affect your mood, so even just by making your bed you can begin to de-clutter  your mind a little.
  2. Take a shower  Again, super simple, but I know from experience that taking a shower, washing your body in your favourite shower gel and putting on some fresh clean clothes can really help you feel energised and refreshed.
  3. Drink some water – staying hydrated is so important as we all know, it can relieve headaches and also improve the appearance of your skin along with many more benefits. I like to add lemon to my water to make it a little more tasty!
  4. Listen to some music – For me, listening to my favourite band or album lifts my mood instantly. Even if it’s on quietly in the background, there’s something magical about music in the way it can change the way you think and feel.
  5. Take a social media break – When you’re feeling crappy, the last thing you want to do is see the highlight reel of people’s lives being played out on social media. The fact is, it’s only going to make you feel more crappy about the way you’re feeling. Try taking a little social media detox, and use things such as books as a distraction in the times you’d usually turn to social media.

Lastly, don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re doing the best you can ❤

Learning to say ‘no’


A skill I mastered back when I was a teenager. Saying no may sound like the easiest thing in the world, but for many of us, saying no is almost impossible. Luckily enough for me, I’m pretty independent – I have been from a very young age. As my mum always likes to remind me, I never wanted to sleep in my parent’s bed as a little kid (unlike my very needy brothers) – I loved my space and kept myself to myself. I was walking by 10 months and having full blown conversations by the age of 2. I loved being creative and reading, on my own! And truly, as an adult I adore spending time on my own. Sure, I LOVE to spend time with my friends and family – but I know when and how to put myself and my happiness first and I know how to spend time alone.

This is something I learned from a young age, and luckily, FOMO is not something I suffer from a hell of a lot. Sure, there have been times when my anxiety has prevented me from experiencing certain things, but, the first thing I want to talk about is boundaries. Learning how not to push yourself too hard or too far into things that you genuinely don’t want to do. The easiest way for me to do this was listing all of the things I truly enjoyed doing, and a list of the things I didn’t enjoy so much. For example, I love seeing my friends and catching up, BUT I don’t always like drinking alcohol in busy bars and clubs. So, how to handle this situation? Compromise. I meet my friends once a week for a coffee and a catch up after work. This way, I’m still being social and building my relationships, without sacrificing anything.

The beauty of saying no to things, leaving the party early, or just turning events/plans down because you simply don’t want to go without having to give some lame excuse – it’s a hard one to master. The thought of ‘letting others down’ is a HUGE no no for some people, and it’s totally understandable. For example: how many times have you been invited somewhere, and still went EVEN THOUGH you reaaaally didn’t want to go? My guess is, a lot. We’ve all been there. And to be fair to we, there are some things in life it’s very very hard to say no to. Family events, birthdays, that kind of thing. It can be difficult to establish. My advice in this situation, learn when you’ve had enough. Trust your gut when you feel like you want to go home and don’t feel as though you have to justify yourself to those around you. If the people around you love and respect you, they will just let it go. If they don’t, well then, it’s a test of your relationship. Learning when to say no by trusting your instincts, rather than weighing-up how much your decision will affect other people, will make it 10x easier for yourself when it comes to decision making.

If you fancy learning a little bit more about ‘saying no’, I’d be happy to offer you some more advice!

Just comment and let me know

Lots of love xoxox

Let’s talk about SELF bullying

This week is #AntiBullyingWeek.

ani bullying

Bullying is something we, as a society, need to address – instead of brushing it under the carpet and leaving ‘them’ to deal with it (who on earth even IS ‘them’ anyway?). And, as much as I am passionate about stopping bullying and believe should all respect one another, I want to talk about bullying in another sense.

That is: bullying the form of self-loathing and self-criticism. Bullying of the self.

There are enough people in this world who want to try and drag you down, so the last thing you need is that little voice in your head doing the exact same thing! Working on yourself is the most crucial step towards living a resilient, confident and happy life – after all, the way you speak to yourself reflects the way you see the world AND the way the world sees you.

The only way we can begin to create a world we want to live in and a world whereby we feel happy in ourselves, is to look inwards. Start observing the way you speak to yourself. The comments you make to yourself when you look in the mirror, or eat that second packet of crisps, or forget to pay your rent on time. How do you treat yourself?

Once we start to reflect inwardly, the world around us changes. I hope you’ll join me in fighting your inner bully this week.


My ‘happy pills’ & me


Hello lovelies!

It’s time for me to get REEEEAL honest, because what’s the point in having a blog if you’re not going to use it like a diary full of honesty? I have had a lot of people asking me to write about my experience with mental health-related medication. So here goes: since May 2017 I have been taking sertraline – an antidepressant medication. Sertraline is an SSRI (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor) which, in short, is supposed to boost your brain’s serotonin levels. Serotonin is often referred to as the ‘happy’ hormone, which some people, like me, are lacking in. Serotonin isn’t just responsible for your happiness. It helps with wellbeing, improving your motor skills and much more. I started on sertraline because I was struggling to get through my days without being severely anxious and depressed. These feelings were constant and began to affect everything I did, from socialising with friends to getting good grades at university.

This decision to start on medication wasn’t something I took lightly… For as long as I can remember, I was set against taking any kind of medication for mental health. I was SO worried about being branded as a ‘crazy’ person when people found out (so far from the truth and AS IF people would even care to ask). When it came to applying for jobs and even things such as listing medication at the dentist, I feared the judgement I would receive from others. For years I refused the opportunity to take medication, which of course isn’t the only route, however my mental health suffered dramatically because of this fear of being judged by those around me.

After finally getting to a place where I was ready to face this fear head on, I went to my doctor and was prescribed both sertraline and a 6-week course of cognitive behavioural therapy. From then on, my ability to manage my anxiety and ‘low moods’ changed dramatically. Medication isn’t a magic wand, but it for me it was a well-needed aid in my recovery. The medication raised my low moods to happier ones, and my anxieties became less and less prevalent in general. It wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows, I still had down days and some anxiety, but generally, the medication allowed me to take a step back from my once, all consuming thoughts, and get a grasp on reality which I so desperately needed.

I recently decided to change my medication from sertraline to fluoxetine – another anti-depressant used to help people recover from depression, and has fewer unwanted effects than older antidepressants. I decided to change my medication as I no longer felt it was doing the job it was intended to do. My moods were getting lower and lower, despite upping my dosage, and having talked to my Doctor, she decided to start me on a new path using a different medication. Much like the contraceptive pill, anti-depressant medication works for different people in different ways and for me, the positive effects were no longer ‘working’. I have only been taking fluoxetine for around 3 weeks, so I will check in with you guys when I have established if this medication is right for me.

There is no real moral or lesson to this post, I simply wanted to share my experience with you. But, if you have been thinking about medication or maybe you’re on it now, please don’t compare my experience to yours. Always seek medical advice in order to establish what is right for you! Hey, you might find that therapy, meditation, or another kind of solution is perfect for you. We are all individual and unique, and so are our paths to recovery.

Lots of love x

Weekend break in the country

Hey hey little ducklings, I’m working on a mental health-related post at the moment – so in the meantime, here are a couple of photos I took on a trip to Robin Hood’s Bay. This is a little coastal town (maybe it’s a village cus it’s teeny tiny) in North Yorkshire, England.

My boyfriend Michael and I stayed in a lovely air bnb with the most amazing view of the bay. Here goes:

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Join my positive, online community to discuss all things mental health, self-love and well being.

Get involved in our (1)

Social media can be such a toxic environment, so it is super important to surround yourself with positive people. I have had the idea to create a Facebook group for a long time but have only just got around to setting it up.

But, here it is! The group has been created to provide a safe, loving space for young ladies to share their experiences, good & bad.

I will be sharing tips on how to live a happy and positive life, activities, recipes and much much more. Feel free to start conversations, discussions or just share your feelings!

If you or anyone you know believe could benefit from this group, please add yourself or send them our way! x

JOIN TODAY > Click here and request to join.